In March/April of 2009, I was part of a research project for the World Health Organization which focused on the socio-economic circumstances of children aged 16-18 in the less than ideal areas of Johannesburg. I was an interviewer, and interviewed countless teenagers. The questionnaire was a rather thick booklet and contained pretty tough questions about abuse, violence, sex, finances etc. I remember sitting in front of one young face after the other, my heart bleeding for them.
The last question in the questionnaire was: "Do you have dreams for the future?" Two, out of all the kids I interviewed, said yes. The rest said no...the reasons ranging from "I don't deserve a dream, things are so bad currently that I will never have a good future" to the heart wrenching "I won't live that long." I cried and cried and cried for these kids, and immediately knew that God wanted me to see this, experience this pain, for a reason. There and then I decided that Child Law would be my future. From that defining moment, I have never once looked back, or doubted my destiny.
It so happened that I decided to do my masters in Child Law, but struggled with a topic for my dissertation. Then my aunt told me a story that left me cold. My little cousin, who was 10 at the time, was the victim of vicious bullying, to the extent that he got panic attacks every morning before school, and is currently seeing a psychologist to help with his school phobia.
It is my sincere belief that children have the right to be children for as long as possible. External factors such as violence, abuse, negativity, poverty etc, strip children of their innocence and it turns them into cynical little people. This is wrong, because you steal something from a child you can never give them back.
Adults should be the people children look up to, alas, adults are the people who hurt kids, in many ways, the most. Even bullying amongst children can be attributed to their parents. More often than not, the bully seeks attention by exerting himself violently. A child who sees violence at home, will practise violence at school. A child who does not have the love, care and nurturing bestowed upon him by his mother, will, almost always, turn into a bully. Dr Dan Olweus, a pioneer on the field of bullying, identified 4 causes for bullying and as I have just stated, 3 out of the 4 are the mistakes/shortcomings of the parents.
What people do not realize, or tend to forget, is the fact that children today, are the adults and leaders of tomorrow. Would you really be part in the destruction of your own children's future? Would you really take it upon you to be responsible for allowing/ causing children to struggle?
Matthew 18:6 -
"But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea."
The message is clear - if you stand in the way of children, if you cause or allow them to struggle, punishment is certain.
Galatians 5: 19 - 25, relates to behavior that leads to child abuse, but also behavior that prevents it -
"19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,20 Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.24 And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.Romans 13:10Love worketh no ill to his neighbour: therefore love is the fulfilling of the law."
No one as the right to abuse a child. If you "punish" your child, and strike him/her so hard that bruises are visible, in extreme cases bones are broken, you do not act out of love. Love does NOT leave bruises. If you molest, or rape a child, you scar him or her for life. There is no love in lust, even more so when you lust after the innocent. Bluntly put, it is plain sick. If you neglect your child, leaving him/her to the mercy of society...you wont easily be forgiven, because you threw away a life God bestowed upon you.
Children who are the victims of abuse, rape, molestation, neglect carry the scars for the rest of their lives. Rape/molestation victims more often than not turn to prostitution because they have no self image whatsoever, believing that they are not worthy of anything. Bullies grow up to turn into criminals, because no one told them any better. Children who were exposed to violence, will become violent adults, and a very dark circle will continue.
We are obligated to nurture, protect and love all children. Nelson Mandela said: "It takes a village to raise a child", it is truly a team effort. If you make someones eyes shine, you changed their life, for the better. The kindness you bestow upon a child, will never be forgotten, for kindness shapes a child to become a healthy, kind adult.
My message to you, dear reader, is be the change in a child's life, that you would have wanted in your own life as a child. Be the change in a child's life that you would want in your own child's life. Be kind, be gentle, be just.
"There can be no keener revelation of a society's soul than the way in which it treats its children." - Nelson Mandela
Child line: 24-hour toll-free helpline: 0800 055 555
Johannesburg Child Welfare Society: (011) 331-0171
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