Ode to Cicero - the Pit Bull who owns a big chunk of my heart...

I decided to capture my feelings for my furbabies on "paper".  Thus this will consist of a three part post.  I love my pets all three of them are unique in their own way...but I am going to start with my eldest and perhaps the one I feel most connected to.

First and foremost, let me give some history as to how I came to love the Pit Bull breed.  Yes, my eldest and prized dog, Cicero is an American Pit Bull Terrier - a ball of muscle and energy contained in chocolate brown silk who turns 2 this August.

In 2009, I heard a woman talking in my mother's kitchen about how vile and vicious Pit Bulls are, how the breed should be banished and destroyed, how she hated any and everything remotely Pit Bull.  I thought to myself...holy smokes, how could one person hate something that much?  Being the spiteful and curious creature that I am, I started to investigate and do research on this heinous breed of dog.  Imagine my surprise at what I found!  Naturally I fell in love with not only the beauty, strength and agility of this dog but also their loyalty, love and courage.  I couldn't stop reading, watching and immersing myself in all that is Pit Bull.  I wanted a Pit Bull - I promised myself that I would buy myself a Pit Bull...a chocolate brown male.

So time went on.  I scouted, looked at puppies, felt the heartache every time when things didn't go according to plan if I saw a cute little one which could potentially be "the one" and things didn't pan out, until, in 2012, I saw a picture of a little chocolate brown pup with a huge head, huge paws and these beautiful serene eyes.  I just KNEW I found the one.  I was so excited I nearly had a heart attack.  My boyfriend and I made arrangements to fetch this handsome young fellow (a few hours' drive).

It was love at first sight.  Both my boyfriend and I were in love with this little puppy, immediately.  I am struggling, even now, to put into words the feelings I have towards Cicero.  Some may call it obsession, you have obviously never owned a Pit Bull.  They take over your heart in a way that you can not describe.

Cicero is a very headstrong dog.  He has a very strong personality.  He also loves to play rough.  He also likes to get his way.  He likes to jump onto couches.  He has an uncanny way of aiming for my boyfriend's testicular area when jumping (I find this amusing, my beloved, does not).  He loves to chew up irrigation and small trees.  He loves to decorate the garden with leaves he picked from the tree himself.  His farts are vile.  All of these aspects would make any sane person lose their shit - it adds spice to my day.

 One day without fetch or tug-o-war with Cicero is a shitty day.  One day without a Cicero kiss just sucks.  When I am positioned on the couch he will jump on and get in behind my back, sometimes leaving me dangling over the edge - but cuddle we must, because that is his spot, close to his mom, or his dad.  He loves to snuggle with his

head on your chest, even holding you sometimes (aww moment right here people).  He is an excellent foot warmer.  Cicero can talk - in a language I don't really understand but at the same time I do.  He really gets me.  When I feel sad or down, he plays nice - he handles me with care.  He would come sit with me and just lick my face until I laugh, or get onto my lap, or fart, or pee on my leg - anything just so I wouldn't cry.  Good dog :) (he really isn't that bad and really only peed on my leg once) He seems to have a sense of humor though :P

I recently had surgery and so I haven't seen my babies for more than a week.  This past Saturday was our reunion.  I was lying on the couch and the dogs came racing in, balls of energy bouncing everywhere.  Cicero of course was all over the place.  He took a seat across the room from me, eyeballing me all the while.  All of a sudden, he let out a little cry, got up, jumped onto me and put his head onto my chest, sticking his nose out - I gave him a big kiss and hugged him tight.  He had tears in his eyes.  I kept telling him how much I had missed him and he just kept looking at me with those same serene soulful eyes.  My precious and beautiful Pit Bull of almost 2 years old.

People who have never owned a Pittie won't understand this - Pittie people will understand this.  The love you develop for a Pit Bull can not be measured, it can not be described in words.  It just is.  I imagine it may be the same with other dogs, though I have never felt the same with previous pets, ever.  My Pit Bulls are my life.  It feels as though Cicero and I are connected on another kind of level.  If this makes me the crazy dog lady I will proudly wear the title.

Cicero - I love you! You have taught me so much and gave me so much

xx

I say this too much, but not enough

I love my boyfriend.  Not in the movie romance kind of way where a cacophony of sound drowns out the universe every time we walk towards one another or kiss one another - no.  Nor the type of love that makes me faint whenever he gives me "that look" no.  Nor the type of love that makes me scream like a deranged person and run after him at an airport. Just...NO.

The kind of love I am talking about can be described as something like this:  when I wake up in the morning, the first person I want to see and talk to, is him.  I find comfort in his awkward snicker when I make stupid jokes or his giggle at my obvious disgust when he makes my coffee too strong.  He is the kind of guy who will listen to me talk and talk and talk (with an expression as if listening intently), only replying with "cool", and moving on with his things....only to ask me a ton of questions later.  He really listens, in his own, peculiar way.  We have our own, very strange sense of humor that people find odd, or even a bit daft which makes it even more funny, because it's very dry and oh so punny.  See what I did there? ;)  I really try very hard to watch sci-fi movies with him (really, I do), but end up snoring through 3/4 of the movie because sci-fi movies really ARE the best lullabies ever!!  This has shocked and saddened him - now he just puts me to bed or chases me to bed before he watches his movies, win- win?  :)

We aren't a perfect couple - I have a short temper and he is a bit scatter brained.  Sometimes we growl at each other, but we care too much for each other to go to bed with unresolved issues.  When I get upset I tend to say things I don't mean or saying things I mean in a very mean way and I end up feeling like a complete asshole.  These things happen.  What makes us work well, I think, is the fact that we talk, about everything.  We resolve things quickly and I do believe this is muchos importante for any relationship, be it romantic or otherwise, to function properly.

When my beloved and I are apart, I begin to wilt, because I have come to realise, that I really can't live without his scatterbraindness, his punny jokes or sleepy blue eyes.  We keep each other grounded and when he's not here, I keep falling.

What do I think about love in general?  It should never be selfish.  I have been selfish, I can truly admit that, but I really care deeply about the wants and needs of my boyfriend.  His happiness is everything to me.  His success is my success. His joy is my joy.  His heartache is mine.  I don't believe that a good woman would ever allow her man to fall down, without helping him up, dusting him off, and starting over, with a stronger flame and a will to move forward.  Love is friendship, companionship, laughter, a partnership and a bicycle made for two.

My darling - I LOVE AND ADORE YOU!!

Vir Johan - my ROCK...dankie x

What I have learned from my pets

I have always been an animal lover.  From horses, to cats [highly allergic though], to birds, to dogs - I dig them all.  Since childhood we have had an assortment of pets, all of which I have fond memories of.  None however can come close to the bond I have with the dogs I acquired when I started living on my own.  Two rambunctious American Pit Bull Terriers and a Jack Russell Terrier who firmly believes she is a rambunctious American Pit Bull Terrier.

Many, many people gasp in disgust and general concern when I mention that I am the proud owner of Pit Bulls [lady, are you mad?? Those dogs are DANGEROUS!!] So is ignorance my friend :)

I used to get very emotional when people made rude remarks about my dogs - I used to get involved in long, heated discussions.  I have since decided that no more.  People will keep on believing what they believe, irrespective of the facts.

All of this made me look more closely at people.  What I saw was shocking.  You see, my dogs don't judge people, the opposite can't be said however - because my Pit Bulls are judged purely because they were born Pit Bulls.  People have various reasons for hating the "bully breed", which include being personally attacked by a Pit Bull type dog, reading stories in the media, hearing stories from people, seeing the demeanor of the Pit Bull as being aggressive and so on and so forth.  I respect people's views - everyone has the right to an opinion, that is well and fair - what I do not understand though, is the mere fact that people base their opinions not on research but on hearsay [maybe this is my legal practitioner talking].  Still, to each their own.

 Interestingly enough, when I was a child of about 4 years old, I was attacked by our family pet, a Fox Terrier - he bit me in my face.  Luckily my dad was outside and he could stop the attack.  Nothing triggered the attack, I wasn't close to the dog - he just lunged for my face [my parents later gave him away to family who didn't have children and he lived a long happy life].  My parents didn't hold a grudge against the dog, nor the  breed, neither did I.  Some dogs just snap - you handle a situation as it arises.  You solve a problem and you move on, you don't make the problem bigger.

My dogs don't discriminate, they love everyone entering my house equally, provided that I introduce my dogs to them, of course :) they do not inspect nor expect them to check what breed they are, they do not ask for a payslip or an IQ test - they are just happy for the company.  Because above all else, they are just dogs.  I brought up my dogs in a disciplined but loving manner, to be advocates for the breed - to such an extent that my Jack Russell Terrier also believes she is a Pit Bull because she has the attitude of a dog four times her size.

My dogs taught me to take no heed to the critics - you can change a few people's minds by showing them, but words will only fall on deaf ears.  By fighting, you only lose in the end, because you stoop to the level of others - there is never a winner in a fight, because fighting isn't necessary.

Pit Bulls are the underdogs - the ones people so often underestimate, yet they are the ones that so often surprise us.

My dogs have changed many a mind on the breed - because I do not treat them as Pit Bulls, I treat them as dogs - they are members of my family.  I try my best to remove any stigma surrounding them, to show people that one should know the facts before one speaks.  This is true for various other aspects in life - we so often form an opinion based on "he said, she said", without knowing the true story, which causes so much trauma, drama and pain.  We have become so comfortable in being ignorant that we forget to be curious - finding things out for ourselves.

Now, when I am confronted with a Pit Bull hater, I just smile and walk away - because ignorance is bliss and it really does not help to even try convert the unbeliever when they themselves are too lazy to do a bit of research.

This is true in life as well - be a role model. Do not grab the "unbelievers" by the throat and throttle them, this gives them more fire power to just steer clear - set the example to make them yet MORE curious.  My dogs are such goof balls that people can't believe that they really are Pit Bulls [victory dance up in here].

Negativity never wins - trump the negative with the positive.  It might take a while, but it is worth it.  I have seen awesome results with my beloved dogs as the world around me has started to shift.  I have applied what I have learned to other areas as well, it works like a charm.

We can learn a lot from animals, especially, our pets...if only we could be patient enough to sit and observe them, we would be much the wiser.

Greetings

Hello darlings,

I haven't been here in ages.  Do not fret, for I have returned.  I have decided to start writing a few non-academic pieces this year, to keep me sane, and you entertained.

Watch this space!

You are gone, but never forgotten...

Death touches us all at some point in our lives, in one way or another.  The thing about death that hurts the most, I think, is the permanence thereof.  When a loved one dies, you won't talk to them again, they won't walk through your door again...there is a hole in your life.

I have often wondered, if it wouldn't be better to not love at all, to live a life of a hermit...because loving, attaching yourself emotionally, then ultimately having your loved ones die, is a pain that never really goes away, it just numbs over time.  But then, what would the point of life be?  You might as well then never have been born.  Life in itself is a challenge filled with ups and downs, highs, lows, hardships and good times.

You have to experience loss in order to savor good times and cherish love when it crosses your path, that's how it works. Love isn't something that sits well with the weak, it is the prerogative of the strong.  It takes a strong person to love and a strong person to let go.

This past week, death touched my life, again, this year.  Small comfort can be drawn from the fact that earthly suffering has ended in this particular instance.  When death enters our lives, taking away a life, we may not understand why, or how...we can kick, scream and cry, but it won't change anything, it won't bring back the person or people we have loved.

However hard it feels to be left behind, we have to keep on living, for as long as you breathe, you are ALIVE and therefore you should be thankful.  It is okay to grieve, it is necessary.  Tears wash the soul clean, it lightens the heart...even cowboys are allowed to cry.

When death visits someone close to you, its a wake up call: don't exist, LIVE.  Cherish your loved ones.  Don't procrastinate...tomorrow could be too late...

Death touches us all, it might be sad, but when you live your life right, nothing can be sweeter.  To my uncle:  You may be gone, but you are never forgotten...

In loving memory of Koos Laas

xxx

Ripples in the pond

For quite some time I have been struggling with a particular issue:  Am I enough?  Am I old enough, strong enough, smart enough, wise enough, tough enough...to do what I've set out to do? 

All of a sudden I felt scared, as if I wanted to back away from this mountain, but then it came to me: you eat an elephant one bite at a time.  I have also come to realise that you never back down - you stand tall and you rise to the occasion called life.  If not you, then who? If not now, when?

Therefore, I decided to shake off my fear, for I have read that, when your "worry list" is long, your god cannot be almighty, for if you have now worries at all, that means that you have put your faith and your trust in God - that is how it ought to be.  That is the path I am choosing.

Never doubt the path you are on when it has been laid out in advance for you.  When life hands you lemons, you stuff them down your shirt to make your boobs look bigger and you smile, because if you don't stand up, you waste your own time.  The funny thing about life is, it goes on...you can sulk for a while, but pretty soon, it gets stale.  Sympathy dries up, people stop noticing, the whole shebang.

So, the way I see it, you can either have faith in your God, faith in yourself, and faith in your journey, or you might as well just die :)  Me, personally, I choose life. 

I choose to enrich lives because I am blessed enough to be able to wake up renewed every morning, therefore I will share and I will keep on sharing and caring and enriching till the day I die.

In conclusion to my fear:  I am enough, because God gives me enough to give...I never run out...when I struggle with a problem I always end up with a solution, when I am tired, I receive strength.  The answer to your problems are as far as your knees from the ground.

Thus - when you are in doubt, afraid, scared...firstly, it is okay, you are human.  Second of all, take a deep breath and calm yourself.  Thirdly:  none of those emotions will solve anything.  Therefore, relax yourself, let your mind go, but in the end you will see that if you let go and let God...the results will absolutely amaze you.

And lastly, always remember: YOU ARE ENOUGH :)

Curve balls, bumps in the road, tears, friends and prayers

Have you ever experienced a moment of emotional pain so intense that you struggle to breathe, as if someone punched you in the throat and gut?  Have you ever felt so low that the light at the end of the tunnel is invisible?  Have you ever felt so weak that your legs felt too much like jelly to carry you further?  If you have answered no - then congratulations, you are a robot :)  Everybody hurts sometime...

During the past two weeks I have heard countless people say: "Love hurts.", "Life is unfair", "Life is hard", "why me?", "I don't deserve this."  So much pain!  Lets examine each of these statements...

"Love hurts."

I have said in my previous posts that love doesn't hurt, the absence thereof however, does hurt - and I still stick by it.  The Bible teaches us of what love is, take a look:

1 Corinthians 13 (KJV):

¹Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.
²And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.
³And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.
⁴Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
⁵Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
⁶Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
⁷Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
⁸Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.
⁹For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.
¹⁰But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.
¹¹When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
¹²For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
¹³And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.

Charity = love

Now, I shall ask - does love hurt?  No, love is the purest and most beautiful gift we posses, which we ought to give freely, without asking anything in return.  Yet so many of us mistake need, infatuation and obsession for love.  Love has no boundaries, no limits, no conditions.  Love flows through us, by the grace and power of God.  This means that it is our obligation to love FREELY, and UNCONDITIONALLY.

People attach too many negative connotations to the word love.  If you scroll back through my blog, you will see that I have talked about this extensively :)

"Life is unfair, life is hard"

Nobody ever said it would be fair.  The human element to life makes the question of what is fair, what is unfair, a very subjective debate.  When you get hurt - you will immediately feel done in, that life handed you some bad cards, however, when all is right in the world, you sing songs of praise. The bottom line?  It is what it is.  When you're going through a rough patch, ALWAYS remember: this too, shall pass.  Life's ups and downs make the ride worthwhile. 

Life itself is the biggest adventure you can ask for - each day is a new blank page, which YOU must fill.  You write your story as you pass every minute.  What will your story be like when the pages run out?  Is it a story you would be proud to share with the world?

Do not cry over that which you cannot change - rather spend your time and invest your energy into changing that which you have control over.  Take up the challenge that is your own life, and ride the wave!  Every obstacle, every mountain, makes you stronger.  God will never bring you to it if He won't help you through it.  God will never put something on your plate that you cannot stomach.  So take heart in the knowledge that you are strong enough to overcome anything - with God at your side, the air in your lungs, the blood in your veins and the courage in your heart, you ARE an unstoppable force!

"Why me?"

Now I will ask you, why NOT you?  If not you, then who?  If not now, when?  Never ask why me, stand tall and shout, "TRY ME!!"

When you fail to learn a lesson in life - it will repeat itself until you grasp and internalize the concept.  Why?  Each and every experience put across your path is like a step up on a flight of stairs, you cant climb up unless you take it step by step.  You are thus exercising your muscles to become stronger, for new experiences, to climb the stairs - to reach the top and marvel at how far you have come.

Take heart in the fact that you are not the only one feeling as though there is too much on your plate - small bites and before you know it, the next course arrives and I mean, who doesn't love dessert, right? ;)

"I don't deserve this."

How was the phoenix born?  Out of ashes.  Out of pain and destruction, new life grows.  Like the Japanese proverb says: "fall 7 times, stand up 8."  It's not the fall that matters - its how and when you get up and try again, that matters.

Also note that - whatever you send out into the world, you receive back.  So this situation might have two causes:  You must re-examine your words, your actions, keep them in check, and always, ALWAYS do unto others as you would like done unto yourself.  It could also be a test, a purification of spirit.  Trials and tribulations are never for nothing - you live, you learn.  Do not dwell on the pain, learn from it and move on - leaving the pain behind.  Lighten the load.  How to do this?  It can be summarized very easily:  Eat.  Pray.  Love.

Eat with your mouth, that which does your body good, that which fulfills you.  Eat with your eyes, the beauty of the world around you.  Eat with your ears, the beautiful noise of that which is around you. 

Pray, pray often.  Talk to God, open up your heart to feel yourself filled by His love, His grace - the perfect love.

Love - with all your heart, all day, every day.  It is the gift that keeps on giving.

Now - when a curve ball is thrown in your direction, catch it!  You are that skilled!  Play ball, baby, this is what is expected of you!  When you see a bump in the road, get your skateboard and do some awesome moves, this is what is expected of you!

If you feel overwhelmed, cry - let it out.  Tears wash our souls and hearts clean, lightening the load.  So let your tears wash away the murk and smile :)

Never be afraid to ask the help of your friends, that is after all, what friends are for.  They sing us the song of our heart, when we forgot the melody.  Friends are angels, picking us up when we have fallen.  Friends are one of God's many ways of showing how especially fond of you, He is.

Never stop believing, never give up hope - never stop praying.  Prayer directly connects you to the most powerful entity in this entire world - God.  He never forsakes you.  He never "puts down the phone" on you.  He loves you ALWAYS, He carries you ALWAYS.

Take heart - for this too, shall pass. :)

With this post today, I send a prayer.  I pray that you will open your eyes, and see that life is in fact beautiful.  I pray that you will have the strength and courage to stand up.  I pray that you will never be too weighed down to give back to the world, to smile and appreciate the small and the big blessings in your life.  I pray that you will never stop believing.  I pray that the Lord will bless you, and keep you, and heal your pain.  I might or might not know you, but I love you :)