Love, touchy issue for some, a fairytale to others, seemingly nonexistent to those who have been burnt. I for one, am a hopeless romantic. I simply adore when things work out for people, since love makes the world go round. It is not love that hurts, but the absence of it. Obsession and jealousy does not equal love, no matter what colour you paint it. It happens sometimes that you become so infatuated with someone that you lose reason, momentarily, sometimes longer...thus the saying, the heart wants what the heart wants. The infatuation you feel acts as a natural high, which grows into an addiction, which turns into obsession. This can't have a good outcome.
Think about it, what is the root of all bad/abusive relationships? Jealousy, obsession mostly. Seeds can't grow into beautiful flowers when planted into a tub of acid. All these negative elements which come from being infatuated with someone can be likened to cancer. It will feed, break down, destroy, until there is nothing left.
Where there is love, real love, there will not be jealousy, obsession, greed. Love does not dwell in these things. Love dwells in kindness, trust, patience, loyalty.
I have also found that people use the words "I love you", a lot...which would be mind blowing, except for the fact that most of us have forgotten what it really means to tell someone that you love them. When you tell someone that you love them, without meaning what you say, it is cruel.
What then, is love? The following quote took my breath away when I heard it the first time and rings absolutely true:
“Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being “in love” which any of us can convince ourselves that we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.” - St Augustine
Who doesn't want the fireworks, the kisses that make your foot pop, butterflies the size of vultures in your stomach the moment you lay eyes upon the object of your affection? But, like St Augustine so rightly said, love, the real romantic thing (Eros in Latin) ain't fireworks. Personally, I think it's when you are in that special someones company and you feel home. What is home? That is wherever you feel safe, where you feel you belong. That, I also believe, is magic :)
Now, there are many different kinds of love, obviously. According to the Ancient Greeks, there are four types, they are:
Philia - the love between friends
Storgi - affection
Agape - general love, maternal, fraternal etc
Eros - the love between lovers
Many, many a song, poem, letter, book, script etc have been written about love. Thinking about it, is there any song that does not involve falling in love, being in love, or losing love? Love is what people chase...little do many people know that love resides within you. If it didn't, you would not be capable of expressing any sort of love towards anyone or anything.
Yet again, when you close your hand, you cannot receive anything. The same applies to your heart. A closed heart can neither give, nor receive love. Like so many songs have stated, love is like a river. It flows into us and out of us...this is how it ought to be, with all of the different forms of love. When you close up shop, it becomes unnatural. This is the point where people start asking why. Why everybody else, not me? Then resentment and bitterness kicks in, sealing in your heart behind a wall so thick that no one, not even you, can break through it. At this point, only very serious self examination, and time on your knees, in prayer...can remedy the situation.
That being said, ain't love grand? I just love happy endings. I truly love seeing people happy. Something that always touches me, is the way in which my dogs love me: unconditionally. No matter how long I have been gone, when I come back, they are as glad as ever to see me...we wrestle till the three of us can hardly stand, and we repeat this cycle over and over...and their love for me, does not end.
I believe that another downfall of people and love is the mere fact that we stipulate too many conditions. I will love you if, I will love you when, if you don't do A or B, I won't love you anymore...the insanity goes on.
Not too long ago, in a moment of clarity, it was as if God spoke directly to me.."love unconditionally, break down the rules, the barriers.." Admittedly it is hard, since we live in a world of control freaks where we find the need to plan and control every detail, but if you forget God in the details, your house of cards will come tumbling down my dear person. God is love, without God, we would not be capable of love.
Have you told the people you care about, that you care? If there are people that you love...have you told them this recently? If there is someone that you are in love with, have you done anything about it yet? Is there a bad relationship that you need to break. I am here to tell you, just NIKE the hell out of it. If not now, then when? Step up and do it...the results might just dazzle and amaze you :)
"Have a heart that never hardens, and a temper that never tires, and a touch that never hurts" - Charles Dickens
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