Change...

For so long I have wondered, what it would take to bring about change, BIG change.  Know the right people? Donate lots of money? Live an honorable life? Go to church on Sunday?  Smile at strangers? Giving a beggar your chocolate money?  What constitutes BIG change?

I finished my degree, started with my Masters...I pray every day, many times.  I try to frequent church.  I always smile, and I am always kind to strangers.  I give to the needy when I can...but is that all? Really? Something still felt...missing...

Then I met an awe inspiring individual.  His inner light shines so brightly it warms you instantly.  It changed me, immediately.  How?  Because I thought to myself, "I want to have that effect on people."  This has however, nothing to do with romance in the sense that I want people to fall in love with me, though it has everything to do with inspiring people to challenge themselves, bettering themselves and living a full life, taking leaps of faith and LIVING instead of merely existing.  So, the ball started rolling...

After a few weeks of evaluating and re-evaluating myself, my life, what I say, how I say it...I cut away all ties to the past.  For those who aren't familiar with the concept, it is called emotional decluttering. :)  I can honestly say that investing in yourself is the best thing you could ever do for yourself. 

A sound, healthy mind and heart will bring you much farther than a mind sickened by guilt, hate, regret, jealousy and the like.  For when you look through the eyes of a person tormented by his past, the world will be grey.  When you look through the eyes of someone who broke the "ties that bind" the world will shine back at you in techni-colour.

After clearing space in my head, my heart, my home...things immediately changed.  It was as if my mind opened completely, I saw things I previously ignored, I felt light, alive, present...loved.  Admittedly, one of the hardest things to teach myself, was the following:  I am worthy, I am good enough - always.  It was hard, but I didn't give up.  Life repeats the lessons you fail to learn, and self love is one I do not wish to repeat.

It has been said that a heart never broken can never love completely, or appreciate love fully.  My heart has been beaten to a pulp...sadly not just once, but the lesson is this: when your dreams turn to dust, vacuum, stand up, move on.  You are good enough.  The situation you were in just wasn't your ideal, therefore you needed to be lifted out of it...a figurative fire cleansing so to speak. 

It doesn't matter who you WERE, what matters is who you ARE.

When the inner cleansing was done, lessons learned, I started looking into the world, with my fresh eyes.  When you let go of the need to satisfy yourself, when your world stops revolving around you alone, the possibilities are endless.  I want to give myself to the world. Seem foreign? Not really.  Gandhi once said, "be the change you want to see in the world."  Change, inevitably, started with me.  I needed to change in order to be able to change the world around me.

My inner light shines brightly.  I want to help those up who fell, I want to console where there is pain,  I want to be a friend where there is need.  I don't want recognition, because I believe that all of us are obligated to serve one another in love.  My ego does not need to be fuelled, I know I'm doing the right thing. Give freely, without expecting something in return.  What I have found, many moons ago is that, once you start giving, with an open hand, and an open heart...you will be rewarded.  However, do not let the reward be your reason for giving, that is not how it works.  You will only set yourself up for disappointment.  Give for the sake of giving, helping...love.  If not you, then who?  If not now, when?

When you die, what will people say about you?  Do you want to be remembered?  As what/who do you want to be remembered?  Everything we do in life, counts.  The smallest gesture of kindness could make the biggest difference in someones life.  Like skipping pebbles on a pond, kindness too, has a ripple effect.  Care more, worry less. 

Something that this inspiring person said, stayed with me.  He said, "I don't want stress in my life".  This has the effect that he does not encourage behaviour that would induce stress,  he does not search for negativity.  He lives fully and freely.  How marvellous is that?  You have a choice, always.  What you choose will affect your life, no matter how small the decision might be.  Ask yourself, like my inspiration does - what will the effect of this choice be tomorrow?  Will I still feel good?  Is it positive?  THEN choose.

Today,  I contacted a few important figures, because I am ready to change the world...I want to be change.  This is how it works, should work.  Embrace your life with open arms, if you love life, it will love you back and what could be more fulfilling than giving, with an open hand and a loving heart?

I am thankful, to God for changing me...for sending someone into my life who inspired me to stand up and make my light shine.  I now pass the torch :)

"When the world says, 'give up,' Hope whispers, 'try it one more time'." - Author unknown.