When I was a little girl of about 4 or 5, I had a diva moment at lunch one day and my dad asked me what my problem was. My response: (dramatic sigh) "my standards are too high!" Little did I know how prophetic these words would be. I tend to set the bar very high for myself and those around me which (obviously) means that my standards and expectations of myself and others are very high. This also means that at some or other point in time I will get disappointed because one has to take into account the humanity factor - to err is human (to arr is pirate, or maybe that isn't the way it goes...hehehe).
I am a perfectionist. I like my ducks in a row. To give you an example, from a very early age, my mother taught me the importance of correct grammar and spelling and when people misuse language I die a little inside. This is who I am, there is a right way and a wrong way, there is no grey area. When people start making excuses, you know you have made a mistake - just own up to it, take responsibility and move on :)
In anyway, back to the point - standards and expectations. In my opinion, it is of great importance to have high standards. High standards are linked to your quality of life and how you see yourself. You have to be selective, regarding everything. Your thoughts, your words, your food, who you associate with, your clothes, what you read, what you watch, what you listen to, what you touch, etc etc.
Having an attitude of "anything goes" says to me that you really don't care about yourself...there is no moral compass that points anywhere, the whirlwind of the world can end up blowing you onto the rocks of destruction and you wouldn't really care, or...you'd end up there and scream and cry because nobody stopped you. It is no-one's obligation but your own to make sure that you have morals and standards safeguarding you from ending up depleted and distraught. Having standards gives you the courage and selfesteem to say, thanks, but no. :)
I just don't understand why people set the bar so low and then complain. Are you joking? You owe it to yourself to maintain a quality of life that keeps out the negative and the bad, which locks in the good, the positive, the beautiful. Who, in all honesty, wouldn't want that?
I read somewhere that Walt Disney ruined girls forever, because now, every young woman will expect a prince charming. You know what I say to that? I deserve a Prince Charming too. I loved every single Walt Disney movie. My question is, why? Why don't I, as a young woman, deserve a man who treats me as a princess? Did I do something morally wrong? Hell no! Do I deserve love and kindness? Absolutely! Do men out there deserve a "Princess Charming"? Yes! Everybody deserves love. (Just so you know, I am by no means a feminist, haha). Do you see where I am going with this? The world, the media, is expecting you, to set the bar low, way, WAY low - and I say, NO.
Let us stand still at love for a moment (it's my absolute favourite thing to write about :) ) If you feel that you deserve to be romanced, then do not settle for anything less. If he/she does not live up to expectation, move on. There is someone out there, who will make you feel like you are the only man/woman, on the planet. Guaranteed. The only reason why you stay and keep on trying, is out of fear...I say screw it - stop being scared...take the leap...there are hot fish a plenty :)
Looking at the workplace: If you aren't getting job satisfaction, or something like workplace bullying is taking place - don't be afraid to resign. Hand in your CV elsewhere. You are entitled to be treated in line with your standards. If people cannot live up to that...walk away.
Something that really boggles me, is substance abuse. Substance abuse is really a very wide field. Drinking, taking drugs...to seem cool, to fit in, to forget how much your life sucks screams lack of substance and backbone to me. What it boils down to - no moral fibre. If you have high standards and any sort of moral compass, you would say no thanks. Life itself is enough of a high - you don't need anything else, since it takes away from your quality of life ;)
The other side though, is making expectations too high for even you to reach. Don't do that to yourself. You should be realistic, otherwise you set yourself up for disappointment. You should also always try to see the bigger picture, especially when working with people. For example, being superficial and only dating someone with a 32 inch waist, earning R50 000 a month, or only accepting a job offer at management level when you only have 6 months working experience. Or, expecting an immediate marriage proposal when the other person wants to take things slow. (You see where I am getting at?)
The be all and end all, is YOU. YOU call the shots. I can write as many words as I want and it can mean nothing to you (which I sincerely hope is not the case). You have to love yourself enough, value yourself enough to put the bar high, readjusting it as you go, never lowering it, always going higher. Always know that you are worth it. Know that you have to have high standards, high expectations in order to have a good, high quality life - you owe it to yourself. This is the difference between living and existing. Always challenge yourself. Always expect more from yourself. Expect people to treat you as you know you ought to be treated and et voila!
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